Breaking point part 2?
The past couple of weeks I’ve been spending time figuring out how to make a Linkedin. I was sitting here thinking to myself how I can make my page look professional and nice. I even downloaded an app to make some of my selfies seem more professional lol. You know those free trial apps that you use for what you need and then you cancel when you’re done using it? Yeah that’s what I did. Funny enough though,Even after I cancelled the prescription something in me is like you can not be serious right now? We’re gonna go through this again? We’re gonna keep working for someone else? I did not feel good updating my page at all. It’s like God was telling me to not do it. He was purposely confusing me to show me that path has never been for me.
I sat with myself and said wait a minute? I need to spend more time skillifying myself instead of looking to work for another man’s dream. I was trying to polish my profile to appease to white man. LOL that’s not what God has in store for me. That is not what he put me on earth for. I am betting on me this time fuck it. I will succeed in the plans I have for myself. I spent all these years helping everybody else w their own goals and dreams, while neglecting my own. I spent years making every establishment I step foot in, beautiful and wonderful but not my own establishment.
Well one thing I’ll say is I’m finally tapping into myself slowly but surely. It’s like every disappointment made me more and more careful with what I continued to let pass.
It’s funny because I was at work the other day and I had this meeting with a manager and mid meeting I just stopped caring. I was like hold upppppppp “What am I doing here? What am I even trying to accomplish here? It’s not my final stop. It may have been a portal but that I had to get out of.
I tend to stay a long time in portals. I’m meant to learn what I need and get on. I mourn the loss of portals. It’s kinda funny. I get too comfortable. But God has been keeping me on my feet.
This has nothing or maybe something having to do with this but sometimes I feel like certain people want your portal. Like they were left in a portal they did not like and now are trying to steal yours. Kinda like they want your soul in exchange for theirs. I felt that a couple of times with people. They would take all your energy and replicate it, it’s weird they kinda do an energy swap.
They’re the type of people that used to live miserably and now they do not because they took from you. An energy swap.
Anyway people and jobs do that.