I don’t know what’s the correlation between mothers and daughters but I might be on this topic for a bit. I’m not an expert in that domain, just sharing what I’ve seen and observed. We either want to be like our moms or we don’t.
We either become exactly what we said we wouldn’t be or do the work and heal. After all, we come from them and they pass down any issues they have not healed from or issues they thought they could run away from. We are pretty much a reflection of them in a good way or a bad way.
Part 1 is going to describe the different types of mothers in relation to their husbands.
To start us off we have happily married women, which means that they did the work and God was able to bless them with genuine love and a happy marriage. Doesn’t mean they don’t go through things but they definitely are happier than the others. There isn’t much to talk about here since they are happy with their lives and their decisions. One thing I’ll say is their daughters were able to see a good example of marriage and how a man is supposed to treat a woman. They tend to be in happy relationships or marriages. They marry with ease and happiness. They usually are not in toxic relationships that need to be hidden. They are proud of the relationship they’re in and are happy for the world to see and witness the alliance.
Independent women, they usually raise independent daughters. They ingrain it in their daughters’ brains that “you do not need a man, you can do it all on your own”. From experience, these types of mothers coddle their sons but put all the responsibility on their daughters, they also hate their daughters. They give their daughters horrible projected advice and usually do not want them to succeed since they did not succeed with their relationship with their father.
Their daughters now have to handle everything by themselves without asking for help. These types of daughters tend to attract grown boys.
It sucks because the woman is pretty much working like a dog to feed herself and a man. They tend to have more masculine energy than feminine. Having more masculinity than femininity as a woman can actually lead to PCOS. People think it’s genetics and I believe it can be passed on from strong women to strong women. A continuous cycle of masculinity amongst the women will lead to a continuation of PCOS in the family. For those who do not know what PCOS is,Polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) is a condition in which the ovaries produce an abnormal amount of androgens, male sex hormones that are usually present in women in small amounts. The name polycystic ovary syndrome describes the numerous small cysts (fluid-filled sacs) that form in the ovaries. https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/conditions-and-diseases/polycystic-ovary-syndrome-pcos#:~:text=Polycystic%20ovary%20syndrome%20(PCOS)%20is,that%20form%20in%20the%20ovaries.
Now some people believe in the science behind it and I do too but for someone struggling with it as well that was raised by a single independent mother. I know there is more to it. I look at my aunts and I’ve realised that they all struggle with PCOS and the main thing in common that they all have is that they are all strong single mothers doing it on their own. They kinda have a masculine physique and aura. It’s not a bad thing but not a good thing either. They all develop hair in unwanted places like on our necks, cheeks etc. It was going crazy too, so I started putting 2 and 2. And in my conclusion I started realising that there was way more masculinity than femininity. I think we’ve let our masculine side take over for so long it’s been passed on from generation to generation.
The only way to break it is to get in touch with our femininity. Accept the fact that we can not do it all by ourselves. Being able to recognize when a MAN is able to take care of us etc. I’ve spoke about this with my mother once and she got offended. She thought I was insulting God because he doesn’t make any mistakes regarding his creation, which is true but we are also here on assignment to break generational curses. I do not want to keep living in unalignment because that’s how things always were.
Single mothers in marriages. They are single but in the marriage for the look and optics but their husbands are not there emotionally, physically just another body in the house. They usually create girls that will thug it out through anything with a man. It’s a blessing and a curse. I’ve seen some women stay with men even if they weren’t happy. Even if their needs were not met emotionally, physically and financially. I think these types of women are so dangerous because let’s say their husband abuses their kid everyday they won’t even flinch and try to stop it. They kinda just stare into the void and let it be. They will stand up for their husbands that are not doing shit even though he is in the wrong for the sake of keeping the family happy.
You know those stories you hear with women getting a second husband and the husband would full on abuse the teenage daughter, yeah they’re the type to blame their daughters because they are mad at the truth so they need an outlet to release that’s not the husband. Those mothers most likely were the victims to that from their own mothers. It’s kinda sad.
The second wife: When their husbands had a baby on the first wife or decided to start a second family elsewhere but they still chose to stay with him. This causes the first wife to remain number one since the 2nd wife decides to leave.
I’ve noticed that with those types of mothers they create competitive daughters. Daughters that feel like they are always competing for men’s approval and love. They are competing against other women. They don’t see marriage as a blessing but more or so as a competition, it’s very weird if you ask me. Even in friendships dynamic they see their girl friends as competition. They’re usually the ones to tell you they don’t get along well with other women and do better with male friendships. Which is dumb af because as a woman the first person you’d want to connect too is the same sexe as you.
Why do you think there is male and female categories? Idk where i was going with this but try to get it.
They’re the type to say male friends are easier to deal with. Funny part about those statements is that most of the time the males in their lives treat them like crap or the males treat them like a mother not an equal.. Like sure they will laugh with her and be there for her and stuff but not as much as y’all think. Those guys usually use her up but she sees it as being clutch. Those daughters tend to rebel and are probably the type to leave or get kicked out of the house because of a boy. I do feel for them, they never really get to experience sisterhood to its fullest.
There are definitely more types out there but those are the types I’ve seen and witnessed. People can change and heal obviously. A guaranteed successful marriage isn’t based on how your mother was or how she treated you. But it is your responsibility to actually heal from whatever she passed on to you. Saying this is how life is or God intended you to live that way is very lazy and unproductive. You will watch yourself live the same karma or worse than what your mother has lived.
For some, marriage is not important. Some downplay its meaning because they have only seen bad examples from it. I had a conversation with a friend the other day and she sent me a post of a girl explaining that she’ll be submissive to her husband and she looked quite happy explaining why she would. My friend on the other hand started going on a tangent on how she doesn’t believe in submitting which made me realise that she was hurt. When you only see horrible examples of marriages growing up and no happy marriages, you only think of that word submissive in a negative notation. I had explained to her that honestly we didn’t all live the same reality. Some of us actually had good examples of submission etc. Also submitting to a MAN is not a bad thing. It’s beautiful to know that you can put your trust in a man without having doubts. No matter what type of mothers we have whether she is independent, single, married etc, I want us all to heal and to find real love. I want us to have happy marriages with mutual love for God, respect of one another and many blessings.
XOXO <3